FUNEMPLOYED_PART 2 … Putting the fun into unemployment

Unemployment may well be one of the worst things that can happen to you. All the joking aside, it’s demoralising and sometimes even degrading. But it doesn't all have to be doom and gloom. So you may resort to searching the pockets of those trousers you have long forsaken for abandoned change so you can afford a bottle of malt with your friends on a Friday night, lest you turn into a recluse.

But you know what? Rewriting a CV is a lot more fun if you’ve turned your pillow into your makeshift emergency table. Seriously. I speak from experience. So if you’re currently out of work – all seriousness, tears and copious CVs and covering letters aside – please be reminded that rumpled bedcovers and sacking off anything productive when the sun comes out is OK every once in a while.

Finally, let’s take this home. Here’s some advice for the funemployed out there:

1) Find a way to laugh about it. Seriously. Otherwise you’ll become despondent and depress everyone.
2) Talk to people about your situation, but do it in a jokey form. No one likes a winger.
3) Start a blog or online venture of some sort so you have something outside of yourself to focus on. This forces you to look out into the world and actually write about something.
4) Leave the house. Even if it’s to go for a walk. I speak from experience.
5) Volunteer for something. There’s that feeling of being part of something that works: no matter how big or small it may be.

Cheers…

Concluded.
- Precious Ohaegbulam (@prsh9 / precious_ohaegbulam@yahoo.com)

TIMELESS WORDS ON MARBLE – STEVE JOBS

1. You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your God, gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

2. I was lucky — I found what I loved to do early in life.  

3. No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life’s change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

STUCK IN THESE SHOES

"...Wonder why these shoes ache so bad after few minutes of wearing them, but I have no other choice than to continue wearing them, at least it is better than being barefoot..." So he keeps struggling with the tight shoes everyday - nursing sores that leave an agonizing pain... In deep thought, he sighs over and over again...

That's the unheard cry of a graduate that is unemployed. Wondering how to stop the pain yet forgetting that he's the cause of the pain. He could have saved some money and gotten himself a new shoe, but he insists on wearing that same shoe. He knows it is tight yet he keeps forcing his foot in.Who's causing the pain?

The thought keeps lingering on my mind. Somehow, we play a part in charting the course our life takes. The course of success. The course of failure. Someone important once said something that stuck in my head: "You know what your future brings. It's just like going to the gym everyday. You are aware of the course of your life and how you spend your time - the day you don't go to the gym, it becomes an anomaly".

Thus, all our actions will determine if we are going to take a ride with kings or not. Can you take a ride with the type of person you are? So if you are still wondering you are unemployable, ask yourself these questions: "Can I hire me?" Do I have what it takes? How much is my intellectual capital worth? Figure that out! Reevaluate yourself! Then your Problem will be solved. It lies within You.

- - Hameed Zainab (@bellezzannie  / hameedzainab1@gmail.com / zannyhamyied@yahoo.com)

THIS CONCERNS EVERYONE. SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS...

Did you know?

According to the National Bureau of statistics, as at December 2011, 23.9% of Nigerians were unemployed in comparison to the 21.1% in 2010 and 19.7% in 2009. Forecast has it that by 2013, the unemployment rate would be 29.00%; by 2014, the unemployment rate would be 31.60%, now what do you notice in this trend?

I guess we all notice that there is an increase and if necessary actions are not taken quickly, the rate of unemployment in Nigeria will continue to increase. Some of you might ask the question: HOW DOES THAT CONCERN ME? Indeed it is a valid question.

The total population of Nigeria’s labour force is 56.3% i.e. this is the percentage of people that greatly determine the nation’s economy. This implies that the remaining 43.7% of the population are dependent on the efforts of the labour force in the economy for survival.

Now let's try another dimension. By adding the unemployed population to the dependent population, we have 67.6% of the Nigerian population dependent on the remaining 32.4%, this is where you and I as the Nigerian youth come in - because we constitute the labour force.

According to the International Labour Organisation, the definition of a country’s labour force constitutes its economically active population aged 15 – 64; thus the remaining population is supposed to be dependent on our efforts in the economy for survival but the reverse seems to be the case. So what prospects lie herein? The present and future of Nigeria's economy is up to us.    

We must remember that a lot of factors are responsible for this rate of unemployment. I would like to ask: Is it the Nigerian graduates that are unemployable or is the state of security in the country really helping matters, since foreign investors are being scared away?

I know a lot of us have other factors and questions we need to express. This is a platform for you to share your ideas and make your opinions heard. The question is HOW CAN WE SOLVE THE ISSUE OF UNEMPLOYMENT IN NIGERIA? Who knows if that idea you have is the best approach? SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS!

- Olanrewaju Fasasi (olanrewajufasasi@gmail.com / @larhnre)

Continuation from yesterday’s Article THE GREATEST BARRIER TO A SUCCESSFUL INTERVIEW IS “UNPREPAREDNESS”

THE GREATEST BARRIER TO A SUCCESSFUL INTERVIEW IS

“UNPREPAREDNESS”

… and the conversation went on and on. The HRM lost interest in the interview quickly, but what does anyone with a logical state of mind expect? 

The HRM put his feet up on his desk and began eating his lunch. Micah sat wordlessly as he ate. Deep down inside, he knew he was a failure, the secretary came in not quite long after and took Micah to the reception and later told him to go home that they would get back to him.

What happened next? Your guess is as good as mine. Even if the uncle called back to plead on his behalf, the stigma was already there because the HRM now perceived him as a numbskull.

The danger of unpreparedness is that you will not only make a fool of yourself but also whoever recommended you, if there were any. Preparation before an interview can help you erase anxiety and nervousness; it can build confidence and can eliminate intimidation.

One of the keys to a successful interview is being able to navigate whatever questions that are being thrown at you while you are making it seem as if you were sitting down for a nice conversation. All these can be defeated if one prepares and practice the steps below:

THE INTERVIEW PROCESS: PREPARING FOR AN INTERVIEW

1.          Research the company

2.        Remember the position you applied for, if none, you know the position you can adequately fit into, not just anything

3.         Develop concise answers to likely questions

4.         Choose your clothes ahead.

5.         Know the company’s address and how to find it

6.        If you can, find a staff of the company and ask questions about the company’s current projects and how your skills can fit in. etc

If you can get these things sorted out on time, the sky is your starting point.

Concluded.

- MONDAY ANIETIE ELIJAH

(@anietieb2k / monday.anietie@gmail.com)

THE IMPORTANCE OF INTELLECTUAL CAPITAL

During the Industrial Age, a firm’s physical assets—such as machinery, plants, and even land—determined how strongly it could compete. In the current “Knowledge Era,” intellectual capital is what defines a company’s competitive edge. Intellectual capital is the unique knowledge and skills that a company’s work force possesses.

Today’s successful businesses win with innovative new ideas and top-notch products and services—all of which originate in the knowledge and skills of employees. Examples of people who possess intellectual capital include computer programmers, network engineers, technical designers, CPAs, and direct-marketing analysts.

Other possessors of intellectual capital are:
• Mid-level managers (they know whom to contact to get things done)
• Top-level executives (they have years of business savvy and industry knowledge)
• Strategic-planning/business-development professionals (they know how to do competitive and other forms of analysis)
• Human resource professionals (they understand recruiting, employment law, compensation, and other critical employee relations issues)
• In-house legal counsel (they understand intellectual property, securities, and other areas of business law)

Whenever employees leave, the company loses their hard-won knowledge and (often expensively) acquired skills. When those employees go to a competitor, the loss is compounded. Not only has their firm been deprived of an important part of its knowledge base, their competitors have gained it—without having to invest the time and dollars in training that they may have invested.

- Precious Ohaegbulam (@prsh9 / precious_ohaegbulam@yahoo.com)

Nor be joke oooo

Honestly speaking or writing, getting a job is a job, but instead of been serious about it, why don't you look at it from the subtle point of view. Of course you need a job isn't it? Well that is a question you need to ask yourself consistently. I am talking about you! Yes you! You need to ask that question and provide the answer yourself, as a popular musician would say ''on your own'' (O.Y.O), oh! That's actually a state in south-western Nigeria.

I remember a cousin of mine, Tunji, who was and is a very brilliant man; he belongs to the set of people we call 'efikos' in school. I respect this guy a lot. He's quite older than I am and I looked up to this guy while growing up. I wanted to be like him because he was focused, he was neat, goal-oriented and physically, I would say an averagely good looking guy; which is probably the only thing I have more than him (I am very handsome by the way).

Tunji had a lot of positive factors that will make one conclude ordinarily that he was on the right track back then, but did I fail to mention that he lacked something? Yes! I think so. Anyway, Tunji lacked positive attitude and he was arrogant. At first, I thought the arrogance was something that got him ticking but as time wore on, I realized that with all his first class result, masters in public administration and his high intelligence quotient, he lacked the most important factor in a man's life which is 'attitude' or as some would say "emotional intelligence". This explains why he is still looking for his dream job (management consultant). Imagine Tunji the rude guy wanting to be a manager?! How ironic!

Anyway, I am sure that most of us must have been in job interviews and when they ask us that simple question of '' why should we hire you''? And then you start narrating your family history of how money has been your driving force or even go as far as telling them what every average Nigerian would tell them. Well I don't blame you, I was once in your shoes. I remember being in an interview and when I was asked why I wanted them to hire me, I foolishly and proudly told them '' because I need a job'', having that feeling that they needed a logical answer and I had just proffered one. Hmmm.

I guess I am not so surprised now why they didn't get back to me even though I had told friends and relatives that I had gotten the job already, I even organised a party to celebrate my stupidly perceived ''success". The rest is history (at least I got the job in my fictitious world!)

Please my fellow patriotic Nigerian youths, do not go to the interview thinking if you appeared pathetic, they would hire you. No they won't! because almost all companies are not charity organizations neither are they your relatives' creation although, you could have that rare stroke of luck of getting a job through a relative albeit, close or distant. Please, please and please I would say another ''please'' (Jara in yoruba terms).

Research the dream company you want to work in, become a fanatic and above all make sure you represent their brand. This way you won't look like the recent officer/guest on ''Sunrise morning program on Channels T.V (not mentioning names) when answering some questions ''about yourself''. So the question is about ''yourself'' and nobody else. Therefore, the interviewer expects a unique answer and an intelligent one that aligns with the DNA of that organization.

Lastly, I wish I would be able to tell you more about the unemployment ''ish'' but don't ''manage'' that cloth to the interview rather ''package'' yourself physically and mentally for the interview. As we always say back then with this few points of mine, I hope I have been able to convince and not to confuse you on........... I don't know........ Fill in the gaps yourself. Fill them, O.Y.O, I'm tired joor! I wan go sleep!.....................comments entertained.

  - Debo Badru
    BBM pin: 332B100C

QUOTE OF THE DAY

“By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may eventually get to be a boss and work twelve hours a day.” – Robert Frost

FUNEMPLOYED_PART 1 … Putting the fun into unemployment

Recently, I stumbled on a new word. It’s called funemployed. A joint word from “Funny” and “Unemployed”. Get it?

There is nothing funny about being unemployed. There is nothing funny about spending thousands of naira on university education and then simply being unable to find a way to make it back due to circumstances completely out of one’s control. But humour has always seen a lot of people through tough times.

Case in context: Some of the best comedians in Nigeria have gone through terrible experiences that helped them to develop their funniest observational jokes.

OK, so it may not be fun to be unemployed, but you CAN have fun whilst you’re unemployed because otherwise you might let yourself get so down and begin to consider taking a BRT bus to heaven.

Let’s get real here, peeps. When you are unemployed and you are on those occasional benefits (i.e. stipends from that uncle or aunty, small change from that elder brother, sister or friend, etc) it’s as if you’re expected to never do anything fun until you’re paying your own way.

That’s not fair OR true and you know what? Using words like funemployed is akin to putting a positive spin on the whole unemployment saga. Or is there a better way to turn a bad situation into a good one other than making it fun? Sometimes being funemployed isn’t quite as good as it seems though.

Just pause for a moment and think about your friends currently at their various offices. Can they run those little errands that you run on behalf of people who find you “indispensable”? Can they stop by at the newsstands the way you do when you pause to feel and appreciate the pulse of society? Can they do that and some more? No they can’t. And there’s one more: They also can’t indulge in ones of life’s greatest pleasures - the afternoon nap. LOL!

Unemployment is never anyone’s plan but you know what? It happens. As does other stuff rhyming with 'it' and God forbid we all seek a little happiness in it all.

Obviously DON’T have so much fun that you don’t do anything remotely job related because that’s silly and tiring, and other bad things. Bored to death of updating your CV and scouring graduate job sites? It’s alright; you are not a “jonzer” for not being productive every waking second.

Teach yourself how to cook and realise how expensive those ready meals that “working-class” people eat can really be. Start a blog or journal whining about how rubbish being unemployed is BUT use it as a reason to watch all of “Grey’s Anatomy” or “Army Wives” or “One Tree Hill” or “24” in quick succession and get some ‘experience’ writing reviews. See? Even fun things can be productive. Kind of.

.... to be continued.

- Precious Ohaegbulam (@prsh9 / precious_ohaegbulam@yahoo.com)

FASHIONABLY CORPORATE

What people should like for interviews:

The way you appear for an interview can make or mar you. It is rather unfortunate that individuals dress inappropriately for job interviews, thereby loosing out on great opportunities. Seriously, it is not as difficult as it seems and it can be quite depressing when a graduate shows up at an interview looking like a fashionista or even a tout.

There is actually nothing wrong with looking fashionable, but you can look fashionable yet corporate. This is so important because, your appearance is key when it comes to job interviews. Let's face it, if you were an employer of labour, would you employ someone who looks haggard or completely indecent for a job interview? The obvious answer is no. Good clothing gives a good impression of who you are; like the saying "you are addressed the way you dress."

Looking fashionably corporate requires you (both male and female) to consider the following:
- Have a clean, neatly ironed and tailored suit in the colours of black, navy,grey, (cream and charcoal for ladies).                                    
- Maintain good hygiene by ensuring that your teeth is well brushed, and your hair, beard and nails are well-groomed.                              
- Avoid heavy make-up and accessories.
-Slightly high covered heels and flat-soled shoes are better options for ladies.

You can remain fashionable by working in fashionable clothing through subtle jewelries and chic silhouettes by wearing what suits you and by being healthy and clean.

- Blessing Obasuyi ( @bdestinyobasuyi)

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE AND THE EMPLOYABLE YOUTH.

This is a case of two individuals seeking employment in an organization. Unknown to them, they are being tested for their level of emotional intelligence. The following conversation ensued between the candidates and the receptionist.

Candidate A- Good morning ma, I am here for the job interview.
Receptionist- Really, this is not the section for the interview of cleaners.
Candidate A- What do you mean? That is rather insulting. Do I look like a cleaner to you?
Receptionist-  What if I say you do? What will you do about it?
Candidate A- I would say you are not in your right senses. Is this how you are trained to attend to people?
Receptionist-  Don't insult me, you this ill-mannered human being.

Following this, an argument broke between them and the manager had to be called. To cut the long story short, the employee was escorted out of the premises.

Here is a dialogue between another candidate and the receptionist.

Candidate B- Good morning ma, please I am here for the interview.
Receptionist-  Really, this is not the section for the interview of cleaners.
Candidate B-  I am sorry ma. I am here for the interview for sales executives.
Receptionist- (hisses), You wish, please stop disturbing me.
Candidate- I know ma, but please can you point me to the venue?
Receptionist-  Whatever, it is down the corridor on your left.
Candidate B-  Thank you so much, I am grateful for your time.
Receptionist- You are welcome (sighs), some people don't give up though.

Which of them showed a great level of emotional intelligence? Candidate A or B? Choosing your answer will be very easy after going through this article.

Emotional intelligence???  Yes, you may wonder what that has to do with securing a job, but let me tell you that getting a job, not just any job, but your dream job is tied to how emotionally intelligent you are and not just on your level of intelligence. Being emotionally intelligent is your ticket to your dream job but as easy as it seems, most youths lack emotional intelligence.

Sometimes you leave an interview room feeling that you have nailed it, yet you are not called. Who knows?You may have gotten wrong it wrong in the area of emotional intelligence. How emotionally intelligent were you  during the interview?

What is emotional intelligence anyway? It is the ability to recognize your emotions, understand what they are telling you and how they affect people around you. Emotional intelligence also involves your perception of others; when you understand how they are feeling, it allows you to manage relationships more effectively.

You must be emotionally intelligent to relate with the people you meet, not just on the interview panel, but every other person you may come across in the organization. One who is emotionally intelligent has things working out smoothly for him or her because they understand those around them. Also, being emotionally intelligent does not only get you the job but keeps you in it.

How then do you possess emotional intelligence? For one to be emotional intelligent, one must possess the following:
-Self-awareness
-Self-regulation
-Motivation
-Empathy
-Social skills

To be employable, emotional intelligence should be your opium. After reading this article, which of the two candidates was emotionally intelligent?

Emotional Intelligence quotes:

“In a very real sense we have two minds, one that thinks and one that feels”. Daniel Goleman.

“Use pain as a stepping stone, not a camp ground.” —- Alan Cohen

“Whatever is begun in anger, ends in shame.” —- Benjamin Franklin

“Where we have strong emotions, we’re liable to fool ourselves.” – Carl Sagan

“We are dangerous when we are not conscious of our responsibility for how we behave, think, and feel.” -— Marshall B. Rosenberg“

There is no separation of mind and emotions; emotions, thinking, and learning are all linked.” — Eric Jensen.

- Blessing Obasuyi (@bdestinyobasuyi)

IGNITE Humour

Courtesy: Blessing Obasuyi

YOU THINK YOU KNOW?

The cause of unemployment has always been directed at areas such as low infrastructure, low standard of education, incompetent teachers, and the rest of it, but today, all the aforementioned is the least of the causes of unemployment.

For instance, an individual who goes through tertiary institution with a  "First Class" or a "Second Class" degree expects to get a job immediately, whilst forgetting that there are things to look out for before getting a job and after getting the job.

Every job seeker should ask himself or herself this question: "Am I employable?" If you can answer this question correctly, then you are good to go, but before you go, do you know what the employer is looking out for? You see......

The ability to develop an effective resume/CV matters a lot. Your CV is an advertising tool and what it advertises is YOU. If you can write an excellent CV, then you have successfully marketed yourself in  absentia and you stand a chance of being called for an interview.

Some of the techniques used in CV writing include using short bullet points, honest and accurate sentences to describe your work experience, tailoring your resume for the exact position you are applying for, etc. For instance, exclude work experience that is not relevant to the position you are applying for. Use action verbs to describe your qualifications and work experience. Do not discuss salary history in your CV. Keep your CV free from grammatical and spelling errors. Have your CV proof-read by someone else.

Until next time......

- Chigere Chantal (@chigerechantal / chigerechantal@yahoo.com)

IS IT REALLY WORTH IT?

 Breaking the ice...

For generations people have fallen for that whole “work hard in school to get a good job” and it is starting to sound more and more like a line of lies these days. After hitting the books and taking the smart people classes to avoid turning out like Akpos, the town jonzer who never went to college, the unemployed have taken to staring blankly at their degrees and asking themselves, “Is that all there is?”

Many people went to the university for various reasons: to work hard for the rest of their lives, to get drunk, to party, to get away from home, etc. No matter which path they took, whether they actually earned the degree or had Daddy pay for it so they could eventually become CEO someday, the idea was that a degree would help them find better jobs.

 And, of course, the notion that sacrificing fun for studying would lead to getting a better job than your peers always drove people to work harder and even pursue advanced degrees.

After years of being unable to answer haunting questions such as, “Why did I major in Sociology?” the unemployed are struggling to make sense of what went wrong. Sure, they might have taken their university years for granted, deciding to party instead of actually studying. But at the end of it all, they still walked away with the same piece of paper as everyone who actually secreted blood, sweat, and tears to graduate. The degree alone should have guaranteed at least some form of mind-numbing employment, right?

Unfortunately, recent graduates, or people who have been booted out of the workforce are finding that having something to “fall back on” could have easily been their ability to tie an apron around their waist and say, “Welcome to Sheraton Hotel, what kind of overpriced coffee beverage would you like to order to jump start your employed day?”

- Hameed Zainab (@bellezzannie  / hameedzainab1@gmail.com / zannyhamyied@yahoo.com)

WHY SHOULD WE HIRE YOU?

The general myth in the minds of most job applicants today is that scaling the hurdle of aptitude tests will almost certainly land you the job,but the fact is, the interview stage is just as important as the test. One major and very common question we often face from the interview panel is, "Why should we hire you?". The question appears simple but it's one you can't afford to go wrong when giving a response.

There are thousands of applicants out there, many of which are as qualified as you are, what will interest a prospective employer is what makes you unique. The question "why should we hire you?" provides that platform to showcase what makes you different from others.

The first point of note is that you must maintain a balance between self-confidence and humility. The perfect way of responding to this question is to outline the qualities you have that can benefit the company using past experiences/achievements to buttress your claims. Never respond by stating things you will do but emphasize on things you have done.

Remember, don't go all stereotype like everybody else using words like "I am resilient",  "I am a go-getter",  "I am determined" etc. For further studies, read more on the following question-answering techniques: C.A.R. and S.T.A.R.

- Wale Fatile

INTERVIEW BLUNDERS

MONDAY ANIETIE ELIJAH

(@anietieb2k / monday.anietie@gmail.com)